Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Last Days & Wrap-up

Before I run down the last few days of the challenge I have to give a shout out to the unofficial sponsor of my month's viewing, Wild Eye Releasing who generously sent me a bunch of DVDs to check out and one I had already seen I was able to give away as a prize. Wild Eye is responsible for releasing lots of weird, trashy and independent horror, sleaze, comedy, and other types of crazy movies. Whether I loved the movie or I hated the movie I knew I was in for something different and for that reason alone Wild Eye is a company worth checking out and supporting.

The 26th and 27th of the month had no viewings for various reasons so there was really no reason to update until now. I got back on track on the 28th with 4 flicks.

First was GOLD. This is a weird movie that apparently didn't get shown in the US until very recently despite it being over 40 years old. This is the story of a hippie commune, full of love, nudity, drugs and sex being terrorized by the local law for all of their raunchy indecency. It was made on the fly it seems, with little budget or pre-planning and a lot of drug use. It actually isn't bad and is interesting to look at from a historical standpoint of that time and culture.

Next up was DEAD SUSHI. This movie is a freaking blast, that will have you smiling the entire time. The plot is a basic Kaiju plot with an evil corporation experimenting in drugs that will bring back animals from the dead. Well it works on sushi and the sushi grow teeth, spikes and sharp blades and begin flying around killing people. It is hilarious, and total tongue in cheek fun. This description doesn't even begin to describe the total shenanigans that occur during the very quick 91 minute runtime but you'll have to see it for yourself.

What would this month be without a little Russ Meyer action? I didn't get to see as many as I would've liked, especially since this challenge just screams out for his movies but I did manage to get one in at the end. I'd never seen it before so I popped in the DVD of MOTOR PSYCHO. The story isn't anything you've never heard before, a group of motorcycle riding weirdos terrorize passing cars on a desert road. The women in the cars are of course big breasted and beautiful as women not of that nature seem not to exist in Russ Meyer's world. I'm okay with his world. The movie is a good tale of revenge and has a rather violent finale with TNT. Very enjoyable stuff.

I couldn't decide what to watch after that so with plenty of beverages in hand I popped in XTRO 2. I'm a fan of the creepy weirdness that first movie offers but the second is just crap. Having nothing at all to do with the first Xtro, XTRO 2 is sort of like a really bad Alien ripoff... except that it is more like a ripoff of an Alien ripoff. What a shitty movie.

The 29th featured just one movie, and it would be the final Wild Eye movie of the month. THE DEATH OF ANDY KAUFMAN is an independent documentary digging into the possibility that Kaufman faked his death. This isn't really an exploitation movie in any sense but Kaufman kind of exploited people with his act, and hell, he may be exploiting all of into thinking he's dead... not sure what he'd get out of it than his own satisfaction but whatever. The documentary is okay, probably as good as I could hope for given it's seemingly DIY nature. There is a lengthy interview with Kaufman's brother and a rundown on Kaufman and his history and life. The film never gets deep enough into the idea that he did fake his death or "finding the real Andy Kaufman" and who he truly was. It scratches the surface but could've been so much more.

And on to the final day...

KEOMA was on tap. This is a sort of trippy, psychadelic, dream-like spaghetti western that is great. From Enzo Castellari's direction to Franco Nero's performance as the titular character I love this movie.  Check it out the next time you watch a western. And the image won't upload so no poster... whammy.

And the challenge comes to a conclusion with THE LOVE GARDEN. I won't say much about this now because it is part of a disc review I have coming up in a few days but it is an absolutely textbook definition way to end an exploitation marathon.


Total Films Watched
- 64
1st Time viewings - 59 (92%)
Average Film Score - 5.6/10
Best First Time Viewings - Ms. 45, Godzilla vs. Hedorah, Emergency Squad, My Dear Killer
Biggest Surprise - That I had as much enjoyment with Nazisploitation as I did.
Biggest Disappointment - The Iguana With The Tongue Of Fire
Thoughts To Sum It Up - There was a metric ton of shitty movies this month and it really drained me at times. From a disappointing giallo to unbelievably shitty shot on video horror fare this month was a struggle. There were some great movies though and putting a big dent in my "to watch" pile is always a good thing. I probably should have planned out what I wanted to watch instead of winging it but where's the fun in that? (Where's the fun in this?) The exploitation fun rolls right on into May with disc Reviews coming from Synapse and Vinegar Syndrome. And a new branch of Celluloid Terror is coming. WOO! Thanks for following along this month.

Monday, April 29, 2013

An Interview With The Stars Of Troma's Return To Nuke 'Em High

A few days ago Asta Paredes and Clay Von Carlowitz, 2 of the stars from Troma's upcoming film THE RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, were gracious enough to give a great two part video interview for Celluloid Terror. Check out the interviews and see below for links!

And part 2!

Follow them on Twitter: Asta - @tulipnoir87  Clay - @clayvon87 Return To Nuke Em High - @Return2CONH

And Facebook Fan Page: www.facebook.com/AstaMParedes and Facebook Fan Page: www.facebook.com/clayvoncarlowitz

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Days 24 & 25

There were only a couple of movies for these days, these shitty movies are really catching up to me. I doubt I'll watch more than a couple more before the month is over as I'm really just letting my brain reset for a busy month of new disc reviews in May.

TIGHT is a mockumentary/documentary/reality TV show sort of movie about 4 porn stars that form a rock band and are managed by former Charlie Sheen girl Bree Olson. The 2 hour movie follows their trials and tribulations of trying to make it on their first tour. I have no idea what this is really supposed to be. Parts seem line a genuine documentary, and they actually do play their instruments (believe me, they're shitty enough that no one would ever fake it) and some of the drama between the girls seems legit but there are other parts, including just about any with Bree Olson that seem so poorly staged that I just don't fucking get what the movie is going for. It is infuriatingly stupid and the music sucks.

Then there was COOL AS HELL. I've finally reached the end of the James Balsamo movies. This one is about... well I don't really know what the fuck it's about. There is a nerdy guy who ends up hanging out with a demon who still can't get him laid. Then there is a woman with witchcraft and zombies. And a hairy demon arm that kills people? I don't know. It's a fucking mess. It is mainly just the nerdy guy in a Hawaiian shirt going around and getting dissed by ladies for the majority of the movie. Just avoid it.

Today's Rundown
They both fucking suck

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Days 22 & 23

First up was a western that seemed like it would be fun at least, even if it wasn't totally original. BARREL FULL OF DOLLARS, also known as Coffin Full Of Dollars co-stars Klaus Kinski and falls in to all of the cliches of Spaghetti Westerns without any creative energy really driving it. Most of the action and performances are phoned in and it was really a mediocre effort all around.

Next up I rounded out a trilogy I've loved all month with CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH 3: THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE SUBHUMANOID. This one falls right in line with each of its predecessors. There is more ridiculous off beat humor, gross out moments and great Troma flare. I'd rate the series from best to worst - Part 1, part 3, part 2, but they're all very entertaining and among Troma's best productions. Consider me excited for part 4.

And these 2 days were rounded out with THE BLOODSTAINED BUTTERFLY, a giallo from director Duccio Tessari. This was a solid giallo, with much of the story coming through courtroom testimony and flashbacks from those testifying until the final act. I'm glad I've finally checked this one of the list.

Oh and while this has nothing to do with the challenge, the new Tom Cruise flick OBLIVION sucks. Don't waste your time on it.

Today's Rundown
Barrel Full Of Dollars - 5/10
Class Of Nuke 'Em High 3 - 7.5/10
The Bloodstained Butterfly - 7/10

Monday, April 22, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 Days 20 & 21

There were 3 movies across days 20 and 21, starting out with ALIENATOR. This movie rounds out the Action 4 Pack DVD set from Shout! Factory that also had Exterminator 2, Cyclone and Eye Of The Tiger, all which I enjoyed this month. ALIENATOR was the disappointment of the group. A fugitive alien being comes to Earth and shacks up with a local group living in the woods when he is hunted by the title character, a platinum blond killing machine that looks like something out of American Gladiators on weird Sci-Fi steroids. There is some cheesy action and a few entertaining scenes but overall it falls flat and isn't anything special.

RATTLERS was next, a mid 70s Eco-terror type flick about killer rattle snakes terrorizing a small desert town. This movie plays out exactly how you'd expect if you've seen any similar animal terror type flicks. The movie has a single moment at the beginning that is very nasty where a pair of young kids, no older than 10, fall into a den of dozens of rattle snakes and pay the ultimate price for their misstep. After that the movie goes downhill.

The final movie was an Italian produced Women In Prison flick, CAGED WOMEN, from 1991. This is part of the Full Moon Grindhouse DVD Collection and looks a lot better than I thought it would based on Charles Band having anything to do with an old film transfer. The movie is actually rather entertaining and sleazy as hell. A bunch of naked women fighting for their escape from a secluded island/jungle prison. It doesn't reinvent the wheel but it does what it does pretty well.

Today's Rundown
Alienator - 5/10
Rattlers - 4.5/10
Caged Women - 6/10

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie-Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Days 18 & 19

Probably going to be doing 2 days per post for the rest of the challenge, so here are days 18 and 19...

After watching Chained Heat I was in the mood for some more Women In Prison fare and decided to watch the other two movies in the triple feature DVD set with CH. RED HEAT was next, once again featuring Linda Blair in the lead role. When she is visiting her boyfriend in Germany she is kidnapped and sent to an East German prison where she has to deal with all the crap that comes along with it. It isn't until months later that her boyfriend finally discovers the truth of how she disappeared and sets to break her out. RED HEAT is a let down. The framework of a good WIP flick are there but the meat of it all is bland and boring. It never exploits the situation or East German setting enough and the ending is a set up for nothing. Not terrible but like I said, a let down.

Rounding out that DVD set was JUNGLE WARRIORS, which brings the prison aspect in to the jungles of South America when a group of models on a photo shoot get captured by a drug lord. This is good old fashioned fun with cocaine... and barrels of it. A lot of shootouts, Woody Strode taking out people with a bow and arrow in the middle of a machine gun war, decapitations, naked women. It sounds like a lot of fun, and it is but the WIP aspect is lost amongst the shuffle of other things and that hurts it.

Day 18 was rounded out with THE BABYSITTER. This film from 1969 is the story of a DA in a loveless marriage who falls for the new babysitter. A fun loving, carefree spirit who just wants to have fun and listen to music. The fact that she's a young, leggy blond with a penchant for getting naked doesn't really hurt either. While the man and the babysitter have their fling they're being followed and photographed by a woman who is part of a biker gang that is going to use the pictures to blackmail the DA into letting her boyfriend and leader of the gang out of his murder charges. This movie was better than I expected it to be. There is some violence in the murder scene, some lesbianism and talks of blackmailing the DA by exposing his lesbian daughter (this is the '60s), potential pedophilia as I'm pretty sure the babysitter's age was never clarified and she could easily be a high school girl and tacos. Nothing to rush out of your way for as you pretty much get what you expect when you read the synopsis but it isn't as hammy as it all sounds so it is a worthwhile watch.

Day 19 sucked and booze wasn't going to save it.

Early in the day I watched R.O.T.O.R., a killer robot cop flick from the late 80s. It could have been as cool as Chopping Mall but instead it was about as cool as getting prodded in the ass by robots. So bad it's good? So bad it's fucking awful. It wasn't the worst movie I've seen all month but it is among the worst.

Then later that night I decided to give PUPPET MASTER: AXIS OF EVIL another viewing, hoping it was better than the first time I saw it when I was more than a few beers too deep. Well, I was relaxing with a couple beers, what I feel is the best recipe for a successful Puppet Master viewing, and I don't know if I could have been more bored. It is a shame too because I don't think the puppets move and look as bad as most people do, and there is actually some above average acting and direction for a Full Moon (especially modern day Full Moon) picture but pacing killed this thing, as there is none. Nothing happens until over an hour into the movie and even then it is so little that it just pisses you off. It wasn't as bad as ROTOR though.

Today's Rundown
Red Heat - 5/10
Jungle Warriors - 6.5/10
The Babysitter - 6/10
R.O.T.O.R - 3/10
PM: Axis Of Evil - 4/10

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 17

Remember Hack Job, and how I said there were 2 more movies from that director? Well I SPILL YOUR GUTS is one of them. After we get by the two minutes of elementary school vocabulary lesson, five separate screens listing the over 30 bands that provided music to the movie and not one but two title screens (I have no idea why there are two), we get to the movie, or what little of a movie there is. Dennis is a soldier who heroically took a bullet for his friend in the war and is on his deathbed when his friend basically shits all over him and tells him that he's going to change the story and take credit for being a hero. I don't really know how letting your friend get shot and die in war is being a hero but hey, I've never served so who am I to say. Dennis gets pissed and comes home, either dead or alive, I'm not sure which, and goes on a killing spree. The movie is basically moving from one kill set up to another without any real story stringing them together. There is a lot of amateur effects, some boobies and butts and an extended metal concert sequence for no real reason. So, yeah, there it is. Is it good? Nope, not even close, but at least it is better than Hack Job.

Next up was SS EXPERIMENT LOVE CAMP, which rounds out the triple feature DVD set that included the previous two nazisploitation flicks that I actually enjoyed earlier in the month. Could SSELC make it a hat trick? Could I actually find 3 Nazi exploit movies that I find good without knowing anything about them prior to viewing!?... No. This one is the story about the Nazis gathering some nice looking women and subjecting them and soldiers to weird sexual experiments together and trying to create the perfect race, even more perfect than the Aryan in their eyes. Well, there are a lot of naked women, and some weird stuff going on, as is the case with most of these movies that I don't find to be worth a second viewing. The last 20 minutes of the movie pick up and become entertaining and really save the movie from being a total bore and turn it into something simply mediocre.

The night rounded out with another first time viewing, and one I'd been wanting to see for a while. CHAINED HEAT is a women in prison movie starring a not so innocent Linda Blair, the never innocent Sybill Danning and John Vernon from Animal House. Blair stars as a first time inmate in a rather nasty and corrupt prison after she accidentally killed a man with her car. Her innocence is slowly stripped away by the drugs, race wars and prostitution run by the guards and the warden himself. Art truly imitates life as this is not the cute little girl that is being possessed by a demon in The Exorcist. Blair is on full display here in her first nude scene and is surrounded by lesbianism, murder and rape. I can easily see why this is considered one of the best Women In Prison flicks around.

Today's Rundown
I Spill Your Guts - 3/10
SS Experiment Love Camp - 5/10
Chained Heat - 8.5/10

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 16

First up was MS. 45, the infamous film from Abel Ferarra (Bad Lieutenant, The Driller Killer). I have finally seen it and it was absolutely worth the wait. The film starts out not unlike other rape/revenge films, Thana is a young mute girl, working as a seamstress when she is viciously raped twice in one day. That is the seediness of New York City in the 70s and 80s for you, what a town. While Thana's first attacker gets away her second attacker meets the business end of an iron and then stuffed into the refrigerator to be disposed of slowly. Thana begins to not just take revenge on the men who attacked her, but any man who even looks at her in a breathtaking climax, this. This is what separates MS. 45 from the various other rape/revenge flicks that came before and after this. Thana wasn't out for revenge by the end, she had totally snapped and all men were a target. I want to write more on it but I'll save that for my next viewing.

Enzo G. Castellari's STREET LAW was next, starring Franco Nero as an everyday working man who is running errands when he is beaten and kidnapped during a violent robbery. When the police fail to do anything about the case and find his attackers Nero takes matters into his own hands. First he manages to make underground contacts and set traps for the assailants to get arrested but when that doesn't work and the violence continues he is forced to fight fire with fire alongside his new friend in a nice staged finale inside a giant garage/hangar. I expected this to be more of a Death Wish styled revenge flick but it was more than that and was a nicely paced and well written thriller for the majority of the film.

Today's Rundown
Ms. 45 - 9.5/10
Street Law - 7.5/10

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 15

Another pair of movies today, leading off with CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH 2: SUBHUMANOID MELTDOWN. This is follows up one of the best Troma movies pretty nicely. It takes a sillier, more gross out approach than the first and it mostly works. There is a lot of dumb humor, and slime and sludge. And a giant mutant squirrel. If you're a fan of the first movie or Troma in general you'll enjoy this one.

And then there was HACK JOB. This is an independent horror film on DVD from Wild Eye Releasing... I have no idea what the hell I watched. It started off with a funny little follow-the-bouncing-ball song and then the movie actually happened. There were Nazis and mummies and a lot of pandering to Troma and Lloyd Kaufman and tits and side plots that were pointless. The tits were cool and some of it did actually manage to entertain but it took forever getting wherever it was going at that particular moment. The movie dragged and dragged. I have two more movies from this director to watch and I hope they're better than this.

Today's Rundown
Class Of Nuke 'Em High 2 - 7/10
Hack Job - 2/10

Monday, April 15, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 14

I was unbelievably exhausted all day and I don't really know why. Keeping my eyes open was a struggle so I figured I'd throw on something that is either going to surprise me or be so bad I just fall asleep. And I was surprised. SS CAMP 5 WOMEN'S HELL is a nasty little piece of nazisploitation from Sergio Garrone filled with naked women, conspiracies, whip and branding torture, shoot outs and metal spiked knuckles to the gut, in an especially brutal sequence. Who knew that it was possible to watch 2 nazisploitation flicks back to back and like them both (back to back being earlier this month...). I didn't think it could happen, but it did. Now, that isn't to say this movie is without its drawbacks, because it isn't. It is repetitive and the attempt at bringing real world atrocities into the fictional film just comes off as cheap to me. Maybe that was me being tired and it could change into a positive impact for the film on another viewing. From start to finish this is an above average piece of nazi exploitation.

I followed that up with CYCLONE, a cheesy 80s action flick featuring Jeffrey Combs and Martin Landau. Combs plays a scientist developing a new military motorcycle filled with as much fire power as a F-16 and featuring some laser blasters for good measure. After he is murdered over the device he leaves it in the hands of his girlfriend to take care of and get it into safe hands. CYCLONE is very 80s, in a good way, and pretty entertaining. It is also frustrating that it doesn't go further in the action, sexiness, and overall concept of the movie. If this movie had taken a cycle of steroids before being made it would be a cult classic. As it stands it isn't bad, and is a decent piece of 80s action but it could have been so much more.

Today's Rundown
SS Camp 5 Women's Hell - 6/10
Cyclone - 6/10

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Exploitation Challenge Giveaway - Screenshot Contest

This is the 2nd giveaway of the month, and hopefully there will be one more after this one! This contest will take a little more effort than the first giveaway on Facebook, but there are chances for multiple entries into the drawing.


ART OF THE DEVIL 2 DVD box set double feature!


In honor of this being the Exploitation Challenge month I have gathered a group of images from different movies. Each of these 7 images is from an exploitation film I love of all sorts of different genres, from sexploitation, to spaghetti westerns and post-apoc trash. It is your job to identify the movie the image is from. For EACH correct answer you get you'll receive one entry into the random drawing for the prize. For example, if you are able to identify 3 screenshots your name will be entered 3 times, if you can identify all 7 your name will be entered 7 times. The more you get correct the better your odds but it only takes one to win.

To enter send your full name and address, along with your answers to CelluloidTerror@yahoo.com with the subject "Screenshot Contest". 1 entry per person, so get all of your answers together before submitting the email! The contest will close on Sunday, April 21st and winner will be notified by email.









Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 13

First up for day 13 was GORGO. I had just received the Blu-ray in the mail and popped it in. This is an early 60 giant monster flick from Britain. While it is a decent picture it pales in comparison to most Japanese monster movies of the era. I did find the "Gorgo promotional tour" scene to be pretty cool and show how people will spend money to see any type of "freak" even if it is exploiting the beast, person, or what have you.

I only watched one other movie but it is a favorite of mine that I find to be a perfect mix of exploitation, social commentary and fun. DEATH RACE 2000 is one of the best movies the 1970s had to offer and is much more than just a car race to kill people that became a remake. With a cast that includes David Carradine, who is top notch here, to Sylvester Stallone and cult favorite Mary Woronov and with direction from Paul Bartel (Eating Raoul) this Roger Corman production has stood the test of time to be an influtential film that entertains from start to finish.

Today's Rundown
Gorgo - 6/10
Death Race 2000 - 10/10

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 12

This will be a short entry because both movies I watched sucked and I don't want to think about them anymore. Day 12 can go to hell.

DROPPING EVIL is a low budget horror flick that could have succeeded as a straight forward slasher film with the Jesus freak kid as the killer but it goes off on too many shitty tangents and subplots and it just falls flat on its face.

Then I saw the remake of THE EVIL DEAD. What a steaming pile of shit. The writing was garbage. The acting was garbage. It gets worse and worse the more I think about it so I'm just going to leave it at that.

Today's Rundown
Dropping Evil - 2/10
Evil Dead - 3/10

Friday, April 12, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 11

It was an unplanned Kaiju day today. Giant Japanese monsters made up the entirety of day 11.

First up was the only Godzilla film from the Showa era that I hadn't seen, GODZILLA VS. HEDORAH. Hedorah is a monster made up of sludge, and smog and all forms of pollution that are plaguing Japan and he seems to be nearly unstoppable. He creates sulfur burns on humans and if he passes too close they drop dead. Hedorah passes through solid objects and decays them like acid. Hedorah is pretty much a wrecking ball that is ready to totally decimate Japan, even Godzilla can't stop him. It takes the teamwork of mankind, science and Godzilla to finally inflict pain on the smog monster. I don't think I've ever seen Godzilla get more personal with the fight than after this one, he really let loose. This is the trippyest Godzilla movie I've ever seen, a definite reflection of its time. Really enjoyable flick.

I followed that up with another 'Zilla flick, one I hadn't seen since it ran on cable when I was a kid. GODZILLA VS MEGALON is pretty slow going in the beginning. Megalon is pretty much useless in the beginning, just a big lumbering monster with no real mission other than to squash houses, and the Jet Jaguar plot is pretty much just thrown together but it all becomes worth it in the end. The end battle is up there with some of the best tag team wrestling matches of all times. I'd give it an easy 4.25 or 4.5 stars. While Megalon and Gigan are destroying Jet Jaguar, just pummeling him ala the greatest heel factions in wrestling history using the numbers to their advantage, Godzilla is walking up to the fight like a man on a mission. His facial expressions and body language were nothing short of Stone Cold Steve Austin and I half expected to hear the glass break and then the entrance music to come on as Godzilla comes in and starts to turn the tables. The fight told a story by itself, like the best wrestling matches do. It was excellent. Hell, even the celebration by Godzilla and Jet Jaguar was something out of WWE... All it was missing was a beer toss to Godzilla and a final Stunner on Jet Jaguar from Godzilla. Overall not the best but damn that last fight was a lot of fun.

I closed out the night with WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS, directed by the legendary Ishiro Honda. This is the story of a giant human-like beast terrorizing the seas, and he bares a striking resemblance to another gargantua that was thought to be dead in the forests of Mt. Fuji. The team of scientists responsible for the Mt. Fuji monster, who was very peaceful and never hurt humans, try to clear his name from this new sea monster until they come face to face. This was another winner, with high entertainment value. The contrast between the two Gargantuas was great, and you've never seen any Kaiju move like these beasts do. They're fast and agile which is a nice change from the slow plodding pace that usually comes to being weighed down with heavy rubber suits.

Today's Rundown
Godzilla vs Hedorah - 7.5/10
Godzilla vs Megalon - 6/10
War Of The Gargantuas - 7/10

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 10

Already 1/3 through the challenge... hopefully the next 20 days are filled with good movies a bit more consistently.

Most of the day was spent running around doing errands so I only had time for a couple of movies later in the day, with GOTH KILL leading it off. This low budget horror flick stars a bunch of New York City underground fetish performers according to the DVD case and an appearance from the queen of STDs herself Mistress Juliya from the Fuse TV channel. The premise of the movie is some dude with shitty head tattoos is an old Satanist who has transferred his soul to hundreds of bodies over the years waiting for his chance to claim his own dark kingdom and souls to reign over and ends up in the body of an innocent 19 year old girl who has just been brought in to the goth scene by her new roommate and he/she terrorize the local goth party scene in order to get his souls. Somehow this wasn't quite as awful as I was expecting. I wouldn't say it was good or that I came close to liking it but it was watchable and there will be a fan base for this movie that live for this type of movie.

And then there was my first re-watch of the challenge, CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH. It has been years since I've seen it but I've always held it among the best Troma productions and this was a reminder as to why. It is a (nuclear) blast from start to finish. Tromaville High School is right next door to a poorly managed nuclear power plant that is leaking all sorts of radiation and toxic sludge which gets into the water supply and begins messing with students. The Honor Society has turned from a bunch of straight-A do-gooders to The Cretins, a nasty gang of punks who sell drugs laced with the toxic waste. Eventually the waste mutates into a monster that terrorizes The Cretins and the school. This is pure 80s gold. Troma was spot on with this one, making an absolutely hilarious high school horror type flick that has stood the test of time for entertainment's sake. Having only seen bits and pieces of Part 2 and none of Part 3 I'm really excited to dig into them soon.

Today's Rundown
Goth Kill - 4/10
Class Of Nuke 'Em High - 8/10

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 9

So after a few "Django" movies yesterday I decided to start today with a movie starring the real Django, Franco Nero. That would be the 1981 Cannon Films cheesefest ENTER THE NINJA. Franco Nero is a man who has just completed "ninja school" and goes to visit his old war buddy when he discovers that he and his wife are being terrorized by local oil tycoons for their land that is a veritable goldmine. As the baddies ramp up their game from running off the couple's plantation workers, despite their pleas and high wages, to kidnapping Nero steps in to help out his friends, which turns to revenge in a final showdown with a ninja from his past who isn't a fan of his. This flick was pretty good. It had a lot of fun moments and the cast for such a flick was actually really decent from Nero to the co-starring Susan George. It didn't quite get to that special level of entertainment that many Cannon Films do but it was a fun little romp.

To my delight the quasi-sequel to ENTER was also on demand for free and that is REVENGE OF THE NINJA from 2 years later. Now this one does reach that special place that its predecessor did not. Having nothing to do with the previous installment in this trilogy, REVENGE is about a man who loses his entire family in Japan except his mother and his baby son at the hands of a clan of ninjas. 6 years later he is in L.A. and trying to lead a normal life when a friend of his uses him without his knowledge to help distribute heroin and puts the man's family in further danger. When he finds out what it is going on, well... it is time for the ninja to get his revenge. This flick is ridiculously awesome. With everything from heroin dolls to a grown woman attacking a small child with a metal pole, an old ninja granny to shooting stars through the eyes, blood fountains and extended rooftop fight scenes it really is endless entertainment from start to finish. Good stuff.

Since the final installment of the trilogy wasn't on demand with them I had to take another route for today's viewing and it led me to one of the more bizarre pieces of cinema I've ever seen... and that says a lot. Take Michael Jackson's Thriller, orgies, weird werewolf electric drill cocks, Richard Nixon fucking girls with his big nose, and black magic throw them in a time portal blender and you'll begin to understand exactly what DRILLER from Wild Eye Releasing is all about. This is an adult spoof of MJ's Thriller video and just fucking weird and hilarious. The Richard Nixon character is the definition of movie insanity and the rest of the film isn't far behind. And yes, there are dance numbers. Of course there are dance numbers.

The night closed with a giallo I'd never seen before, THE IGUANA WITH THE TONGUE OF FIRE from director Riccardo Freda. Made in 1971 this was an earlier entry into the explosion of the genre but unfortunately it feels more like a later entry that is just going through the motions. The story is bland, the characters are standard and the killer reveal isn't much of a surprise at all. There are a few really nasty kills and a well staged chases scene through a foggy town and drawbridge but in between these moments the investigation scenes there isn't much to latch on to. The entertaining bits and a solid score from the always reliable Stelvio Cipriani kept this one from being a total loss. It is a shame it wasn't better because it has one of the best giallo titles ever. 

Today's Rundown
Enter The Ninja - 6/10
Revenge Of the Ninja - 7.5/10
Driller - 5/10
The Iguana With The Tongue Of Fire - 5.5/10

Monday, April 8, 2013

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 8

A pair of Spaghetti Westerns led off the viewing, both of which were released back in December to capitalize on Django Unchained. These have about as much to do with the original Django as Tarantino's movie does.

DJANGO KILLS SILENTLY is best described as "serviceable". There is really nothing special going on here and George Eastman as the title character doesn't come off as any sort of real legendary western hero. Even during the climax when it finally seems like the Django character in this flick is going to have a special moment he is quickly put into a compromising situation and has to rely on others. But like I said, it isn't all bad, it just isn't exceptionally good. There are many of the classic spaghetti western cliches which keep it entertaining enough even if it becomes a checklist of cliches.

Then there is DJANGO'S CUT PRICE CORPSES and this is a prime example of a cool title with a movie that doesn't live up to it. A rather lame and tame western that would maybe be okay at the end of a SW triple bill after you've seen a couple good ones and already have your western appetite satisfied. While neither of these movies are particularly bad and it wouldn't be fair to say they're not worth checking out but there are hundreds of other Spaghetti Westerns worth checking out before you get to these. The price (around $5 or $6 for a nicely presented DVD) is right though.

I planned to watch more but it didn't happen... until tomorrow dear readers.

Today's Rundown
Django Kills Silently - 5/10
Django's Cut Price Corpses - 5/10

Exploitation/B-Movie/Drive-In Challenge 2013 - Day 7

Day 7 was a story of a couple movies being subpar examples of their genre... I feel like that sort of extends to Wrestlemania 29 which I watched that evening... hmmm... Nevermind, at least Wrestlemania gave Daniel Bryan a win at Wrestlemania.

JIVE TURKEY aka BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES is a rather lackluster and poorly written example of blaxploitation, a genre that has some truly great films. While JIVE TURKEY is one of the more bloody movies of the genre at times, the poor writing, lack of interesting characters and paint-by-numbers approach make it something only blaxploitation completists need seek out.

And then there was THE MOLE PEOPLE, the 1956 Universal Sci-Fi flick. I had high hopes for this one as any footage I've ever seen of it looked really cool. Well, most of that footage was of the mole people themselves, a mutant race that has been enslaved deep beneath the Earth's surface by a civilization of people that live off the mushrooms they force their slaves to harvest as they don't need light to grow and light hurts them due to how long they've been subterranean. A group of scientists discover this group by accident and are taken in as gods due to their ability to withstand light, and create it via flashlight, until they're discovered not to be gods and then they get in trouble and the mole people revolt. The end of the movie is cool, and there are some creepy and cool scenes with the mole people but overall THE MOLE PEOPLE was a slow, boring letdown.

Today's Rundown
Jive Turkey - 4/10
The Mole People - 5/10